I could also see a man and a woman outside in the snow. She was barefoot. He had his jacket on. She was pushing him. He shoved back and she fell on her bottom in the snow.
I gasped.
I just heard the words.
I never saw. Never, never, ever.
Tucker Creed jerked me around so his back was to the house and I couldn’t see anymore. Then he started walking, fast, making me walk backwards, his hands still covering my ears.
Silently, Bootsie followed us.
He came out like I did. He came out to get away from the words. He came out so he wouldn’t see.
“You don’t like the words,” I whispered and watched his head move funny, hard, fast, like a twitch.
“The words?”
“Mean words,” I told him as he kept pushing us back.
“Fuck you, motherfucker!” the woman shouted. “You leave, don’t come back!”
“I time it right, you got a bottle of Jack in you, you’ll lie back and spread so fast, my head will spin then you’ll spin that tired, used cunt of yours ON my f**kin’ head!” the man shouted back.
Tucker kept pushing me into the woods, his hands over my ears, clenching kind of tight but not hurting, his body blocking the view.
Then his mouth came to my ear.
“I don’t like the words.”
He didn’t like the words. Like me.
“I don’t either,” I whispered in his ear.
“Time it for TWO bottles, ass**le. That’s what it’ll take for you to get me to spread!” she screamed.
Tucker kept pushing us back, asking, “You got the words?”
I nodded, his hands moving with my head. “Daddy and his new wife.”
Tucker kept pushing us then he said, “We’re in the sun.”
I blinked.
“What?” I asked.
“We’re in the sun. On the pier. By the lake.”
“Get off me, bitch!” the man shouted, I closed my eyes tight but my hands came up, lifting high, I put them over his ears.
“We’re in the sun,” I agreed, seeing it, feeling it.
We were on the pier on the lake in the sun.
Tucker kept pushing me backwards. “We’ll do cannonballs off the pier. My splashes’ll be bigger than yours.”
I kept my eyes shut, kept moving back with him, feeling Bootsie against my leg following us. I was also feeling the sun, the warmth, seeing the lake in my head, Tucker in swim trunks doing a cannonball off the pier.
“No way, my cannonballs are the best,” I told him.
“Not as good as mine,” he said.
“Better,” I replied then kept talking in his ear as he kept moving us back. “I’ll bring a picnic. In a big basket. We’ll swim and we won’t wait thirty minutes after we eat.”
“We won’t wait.”
“We’ll jump in right after we eat. Bologna sandwiches. With cheese. And Ruffles, they have ridges. The cheesy kind. We’ll drink as much Coke as we want. Cans and cans of it. And we’ll eat frozen Snickers bars,” I said.
“Frozen Snickers bars. Sounds good.”
“Takes forever to eat them. It’s great.”
“Bologna sandwiches and frozen Snickers bars,” he agreed.
“Cannonballs and sun and water,” I said. “And nothing else.”
“Nothing else,” he agreed again.
“No one else,” I told him.
“Just us,” he said.
“Just us.” I nodded, moving his hands with my head. “And Bootsie, my doggie.”
“And your dog.”
We were moving up the incline I fell down and it made me think things I didn’t like.
I started to shiver.
“I been gone a long time, Tucker,” I whispered. “Daddy might find out I’m gone. He doesn’t like it when I take my walks.”
“Then let’s get you home, Sylvie.”
He knew my name. I didn’t know how. I didn’t care. I just liked how it sounded when he said it.
We’d made it almost to the top, he let my ears go but took my hand, turned me and kept us walking. I heard him give a low, quiet whistle and Bootsie trotted with us.
“It happen a lot?” he asked in a soft voice.
“Unh-hunh,” I answered and felt his hand squeeze mine.
“Your Momma… does it –?” I stopped talking when his hand squeezed mine again and he answered, “Yeah. Lots.”
I didn’t like that. I didn’t like the words for me. I didn’t like them for him either.
I squeezed his hand back.
He kept walking me toward my house.
“You know where I live?” I asked.
“Everyone knows all about the Bissenettes,” he answered in a way that was kind of funny. A kind of funny that didn’t feel good.
I didn’t say anything.
We kept walking, Bootsie at my side and we did this a long time.
Then Tucker asked, “You go out when it happens?”
“Unh-hunh,” I repeated.
“He ever catch you?”
“Yeah,” I whispered and the word was shaky but his hand gave mine another squeeze so I knew he knew why my voice was shaky. That squeeze made me feel better.
I saw the fence that surrounded our backyard in front of me and Tucker was leading me to the gate.
He didn’t say anything more until we got there. I thought he’d stop and I’d just go in but he stopped and didn’t let me go. He tugged my hand in a gentle way, like when I tugged at Bootsie when I wanted to pet her and she wasn’t close enough to me.
I liked it.
I looked up as he turned into me.
“Next time you gotta get away, Sylvie, you come to me.”
My breathing felt funny.
“What?” I whispered.
“It gets bad, you gotta get away, you come to me. I’ll take care of you.”
I stared at him.
“What?” I whispered again.
“We’ll talk about the lake and cannonballs and how I’m gonna buy you orange sherbet push-ups from Merlin’s store when summer comes.”
Oh wow.
I loved orange sherbet push-ups. They were the best.
I had this feeling, deep, deep in my belly that Tucker buying them for me would make them better.
“I’ll freeze Snickers bars for you,” I promised.
“Sounds good. I like Doritos. Cool Ranch.”