And there it was. The truth hurt but it was still there in black and white. For whatever reason, she wanted Nathan more than she'd ever wanted another man, and the fact that he hadn't wanted her in the beginning did sting.
A cool shower helped to clear her head and sooth her savaged nerves. It really did irritate her that Nathan affected her so much. She was normally cool and confident, but he'd managed to turn her into a raving, desperate lunatic.
Most women her size probably wouldn't wear tight, form-fitting jeans, but she didn't have any compunction about displaying her body. To be honest, she'd tried skinnier and leaner, and it just didn't look good on her.
Once, after breaking up with a dickhead who snidely told her she could stand to lose a few pounds, she'd gotten serious about losing weight. She'd dropped thirty pounds, but it just hadn't worked for her. She liked herself the way she was, and she was pissed as hell that she'd let a man change the way she looked at herself, even if it had been a temporary thing.
After that, she'd forgotten all about ideal sizes, had rounded out and added back her ample curves, and quite frankly she liked herself a lot better, and she had her self-respect back.
Her mother wasn't perfect by a long shot, but what she had given Julie from the time she was a child was a strong sense of self. Not a day went by that she hadn't told Julie how beautiful she was, how smart. She'd imbued her daughter with the belief she could do anything, be anything. She'd grown up believing that. She still did.
She needed to call her mom and check in. Make sure she didn't need anything. Lord knows her brother wasn't going to step up. As much as it galled her to have any contact with the moron her mother had married, she couldn't very well turn her back on her mom.
Besides, there was always the outside chance that her mother might actually surprise her and leave the jerk.
Chuckling over the absurdity of that notion, she finished dressing, applied light makeup and brushed out her hair until it fell softly over her shoulders.
The only area she paid special attention to was her lips. She applied rich red lipstick because she wanted Nathan to look at those lips and remember them around his cock.
She cracked a grin and then checked to make sure she didn't have lipstick on her teeth. Satisfied with her appearance, she went in search of her shoes. With ten minutes to spare, she went back into the living room to wait for Nathan to arrive.
Oddly she wasn't nervous. Excitement hummed through her veins. Finally she was going to be on a real date with him. After months of cat and mouse, of hinting and endless flirtation, the man had gained a clue. It didn't speak well of a lengthy relationship if she had to beat him over the head with a baseball bat every time she wanted his attention.
When her doorbell rang five minutes early, she had to stop herself from bolting to the door. Chiding herself for being way too damn eager, she took her time going to let him in.
She opened the door to see him filling up the entrance, his hands shoved nervously in his pockets.
"You shouldn't just answer the door without checking to see who's outside," he said with a frown. "What if I had been some ra**st or serial killer?"
She let her hand rest on the edge of the door and cocked her hip to the side as she studied just how damn good he looked in his Carhartt jeans. They molded to all the right spots, cupping him as lovingly as she would have, given the opportunity. And the simple T-shirt he wore shouldn't have been anything special, but it spread tightly across his chest, outlining in perfect detail every ripple and bulge of his muscles.
Damn it, why couldn't he be mediocre? Or passably handsome? Why couldn't he be one of these guys who only had his personality going for him? Why did he have to be the total package for her?
"Are you listening to me, Julie?"
She blinked. "Huh?"
"I said you shouldn't be answering the door without knowing for sure who's on the other side. It's dangerous."
"Oh, well, I knew it was you. Who else would it be?" she asked lightly.
"That's not the point. From now on, check before you open the door, okay? They should have peepholes on these doors."
"You're off the clock, Nathan," she said as she gestured him inside.
He flashed a quick grin as he stepped inside the small foyer. He filled up the entire entryway, and suddenly she felt pretty small beside him.
"Just let me get my purse and we can head out," she said.
He nodded and stood waiting while she ducked back into the living room. Seconds later she returned.
"You ready?"
"Sure, let's do it."
He motioned her ahead of him and they walked out the door. She turned back to lock it, and he waited on the sidewalk until she rejoined him. Then he walked her to his truck and opened the passenger door for her.
It was a long damn way up and she eyed the seat skeptically. Even the "oh shit" handle was out of reach.
To her surprise, Nathan put his hands around her waist and lifted her up as easily as if she was one of those small, dainty females. She landed in the seat with his hand still resting firmly on her thigh. For a long moment, he stood there, looking at her with heat radiating from his eyes.
Slowly he pulled his hand away as if reluctant to stop touching her. He backed up and shut the door then strode around to his side. He slid in with no problem whatsoever, but then he was a good foot taller than she was.
"A person could get a nosebleed in this thing," she said.
He laughed. "Not everyone is as short as you."
"Why do men like big tires and jacked-up trucks anyway?"
He slid her a sideways glance and grinned. "Guys like big toys. Besides, it's fun to go off-roading in it. I'll have to take you mud-ding some time."
She rolled her eyes. "The only mud I'm interested in is the kind a gorgeous guy wraps me in during a day at the spa."
"I could wrap you in some mud."
She laughed. "Oh I bet you could."
He turned back to stare out the windshield as he navigated through traffic. "Have you heard from Faith?"
Though he asked the question in a casual voice, she could hear his concern. It was pretty sweet and obvious he cared about her.
"Actually no. After you left she came back. She, uhm, had to go get something but then Gray showed up."
Nathan winced. "Yeah, I sorta told him where she was, but he was so worried. I couldn't let the poor guy sweat like that. Besides, they need to work their shit out."