She’d heard of no controversy involving Laird McDonald, so she could only surmise that Caelen had kept his word and told no one of the laird’s attack on her.
Her fingers curled into a fist and she had to make herself relax and filter the rage from her blood. She would have liked to have killed the bastard. Her only satisfaction was that he hadn’t got the best of her and she hadn’t been so paralyzed with fear that she hadn’t been able to defend herself.
She would have leaped from the window before allowing Laird McDonald to violate her.
What she really wanted was to march down the hall to where the bastard had stayed sequestered in his chamber all day and hit him again.
A soft knock at Keeley’s door had her sitting straight up in bed. She reached for a wrap and hastened to answer, worried that something had gone wrong with Mairin or the babe.
When she opened the door, she was stunned to see Rionna standing in the doorway, her expression indecipherable.
“Rionna?”
“Keeley,” Rionna greeted softly. “Can I come in?”
Keeley gripped the door until her knuckles were white. She didn’t want to have this conversation with Rionna. She didn’t want to talk to the woman at all. ’Twas enough that she knew she would wed with Alaric in a little more than a day’s time.
But she couldn’t avoid the inevitable forever. ’Twas better to have the conversation in privacy where they wouldn’t chance being overheard.
She relaxed her grasp on the door and opened it wider. “Aye, come in.”
Rionna walked in and Keeley shut the door behind her. Keeley walked across the floor to sit on the edge of her bed. She wouldn’t give Rionna the advantage and allow her to know how unsettled she was by her visit.
Rionna rubbed her hands down the men’s trews she wore and flexed her fingers in a nervous gesture. “There is much I would say to you, Keeley. Beginning with the fact that I am overjoyed that you are alive and well. I feared so much that something terrible had happened to you.”
Bitterness welled up and before Keeley could call back the words, she blurted out, “ ’Tis an odd thing to say given how I was turned from my home and left to survive on my own.”
Rionna shook her head, pain glittering in her golden eyes. “Nay. Not on your own.”
Keeley pushed herself from the bed and stood with trembling legs. “You did not even send for me after your mother passed, and you knew the truth, Rionna. You knew.”
Rionna bowed her head. “Aye, I knew. I’ve always known. ’Tis a terrible thing for a lass to know about her father. Why do you think I always preferred to play outside the keep, away from my father? I saw the way he looked at you, Keeley. I knew and I despised him for it.”
Keeley’s mouth gaped open. She couldn’t even form a response, so shocked was she by Rionna’s words.
Rionna reached out and touched Keeley’s arm. “Please, sit down and listen to what I have to say.”
Keeley hesitated.
“Please,” Rionna whispered.
Keeley slumped down on the bed and Rionna took the place next to her, though she kept a distance between them.
Rionna twisted her fingers nervously in front of her and focused her stare on the opposite wall.
“I was devastated when my mother labeled you a whore and turned you out of the keep. I knew what had happened and I was furious with her for blaming you. She was a prideful woman, and she would have died if anyone had known the truth. ’Twas no excuse. I was angry with her until the day she died for not protecting you as she would me. I always wondered …”
Rionna took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’ve always wondered what she would have done if it had been me. Would she have cried me whore? Would she have pretended it didn’t happen? Would she have turned against her own daughter to save her pride?”
Keeley swallowed against the huge knot in her throat. There was so much pain and shame in Rionna’s voice. She ached to reach out and enfold her in her arms.
“She pretended as though you didn’t exist,” Rionna said painfully. “I used to lie awake at night worried about how you fared and how you would survive.”
“And yet you did or said nothing after your mother died,” Keeley said bitterly.
Rionna sighed, her face creased with unhappiness. “The people who came to you for aid, the ones who always gave you coin or venison from the hunt, those were sent by me. ’Twas the only way I could be sure you were cared for and that you had what you needed.”
Keeley called back the mounting grief and clenched her hands tight so she didn’t break down. “What I needed was your love and support, the support of my clan. Have you any idea how it felt to be cast out and to know that I could never return, and that to the people who’d raised and loved me since birth I was now dead?”
Rionna reached over and gingerly took her hand, as if she were afraid that Keeley would jerk it away.
“I couldn’t let you come back, Keeley.”
Keeley’s head jerked up and she stared in confusion at her cousin. “Why?”
Shame crowded Rionna’s eyes and she looked away, tears brimming in the golden orbs.
“He was obsessed with you, Keeley. He would have never left you alone. The only way I could protect you was to make sure you stayed away from my father. You would have never been safe with him near.”
Keeley’s heart lurched. The truth of Rionna’s words hit her with the force of a fist. She’s seen the lust in Laird McDonald’s eyes. She’d felt his desperation. ’Twas as if the last years hadn’t existed and he’d waited this long to have his chance at her.
“Oh, Rionna,” Keeley whispered.
“ ’Tis part of the reason I agreed to the marriage with Alaric McCabe,” Rionna continued. “If my father were no longer laird, I could have welcomed you back in your home. The McCabes are honorable. Alaric would have never allowed my father to harm you. We could be sisters again.”
Keeley’s eyes stung. Her throat throbbed with unshed tears and her heart ached for the lost innocence of two young girls.
“I’ve never forgotten you, Keeley. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t worried for you. I’ve always loved you as a sister, and I know you have reason to be angry. I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me, but I did the only thing I could do to keep you safe.”