To her horror, the door swung open. Just as she was frantically searching for a way to preserve her modesty, Maddie stuck her head around.
Keeley slumped against the back of the wooden tub. “Oh, ’tis you. I nearly had failure of the heart.”
“I heard you were ailing. I wanted to come up and see if there is anything I can do.”
Keeley smiled, or tried to. The result was her eyes stinging and watering. She sniffed but as soon as the first tear trickled down her cheek, she was done for.
Maddie look horrified and then her features crinkled in sympathy. “Oh lass, whatever is the matter? Now, now, let me get you out of that tub. ’Twill be all right.”
Keeley allowed Maddie to help her from the tub, and then wrapped in a drying linen, she sat in front of the fire while Maddie dried and combed out her hair.
“Now tell me what’s prompted your upset,” Maddie said gently.
“Oh Maddie. I fear I’ve made a huge mistake, but ’tis the truth I don’t regret a minute of it.”
“Would this have something to do with Alaric McCabe?”
Keeley turned her tearful gaze to Maddie. “ ’Tis so obvious? Does everyone know of my shame?”
Maddie enfolded her into her arms. “Shh. None of that.” She rocked back and forth, soothing Keeley with motherly noises.
“I gave myself to him,” Keeley whispered. “He’s to marry another and I went to him anyway. I couldn’t resist any longer.”
“You love him.”
“Aye. I love him.”
Maddie made a sound of sympathy. “ ’Tis no shame in giving yourself to a man you love. But I must know, did he take advantage of you, lass?”
There was an edge of anger to Maddie’s tone and Keeley ripped herself away from the older woman. “Nay! He is as tortured as I am. He knows he must marry Rionna. We’ve both tried to ignore what is between us. ’Tis I who went to him last eve.”
Maddie reached to trail her fingers down the locks of Keeley’s hair in a soothing manner. “ ’Tis hard when the heart must be denied. I don’t have words to tend the hurt. I wish I did. But you are a good lass, Keeley. You mustn’t allow the ills done to you in the past to influence you now. You aren’t a whore. You have a good and loyal heart. The McCabes are fortunate to have you.”
Keeley threw herself in Maddie’s arms and hugged the other woman fiercely. “Thank you, Maddie. ’Tis the truth I’ve never had dearer friends than you and the other women of the keep. I’ll never forget your kindness—or your understanding.”
Maddie stroked Keeley’s hair and returned her hug. “Gannon has told the others that you’re tired and ailing. We all agree you’ve done much in your time here. Why don’t I go down and ask Gertie to send up something to eat. I’ll come sit with you if you like, but you should go to bed and have a long rest.”
Keeley nodded and slowly pulled away. “I’d like that. ’Tis the truth I’m tired and sick at heart. I haven’t the strength to smile this day and pretend naught is the matter.”
Maddie patted her hand. “Hie yourself to bed and let me take care of the rest. Your secret ’tis safe with me. I’ll not even be telling Lady McCabe. ’Tis your concern who you share your affairs with.”
“Thank you,” Keeley said again.
Maddie rose and gestured toward the bed. “Go now. Make yourself comfortable. After a night of loving, I imagine your appetite ’tis monstrous.”
Keeley blushed and then laughed. “Aye, it is to be sure.”
Maddie smiled and exited the room, closing the door behind her. Keeley pulled on her nightdress and then burrowed under the covers. It was a cold day and her chamber had a chill despite the fire Gannon had thoughtfully tended.
As she waited for Maddie, she stared up at the ceiling, grateful she wouldn’t bear the day alone. Her heart already ached enough without the burden of solitude. Sometimes ’Twas best to share with a friend. She missed the friendship that she and Rionna used to share.
Keeley had lived a long time alone, but now that she’d found the companionship—and camaraderie—of other women, the idea of going back to the silent cottage was more than she could bear.
She wanted to be part of the McCabe clan. As painful as it would be, knowing Alaric was close but never to be hers. But she wasn’t willing to be a coward and flee to sulk and lick her wounds in solitude. She was tired of being alone.
She wanted to belong.
Moments later, Maddie returned, not only with Mairin but Christina as well. The women burst into Keeley’s chambers, their smiles warm, their laughter vibrant.
Christina was ablaze with joy as she recounted Cormac’s marriage proposal. Maddie glanced over at Keeley and then reached to squeeze her hand. Keeley squeezed back and smiled fondly at Christina.
The lass was overjoyed, and Keeley allowed that happiness to seep into her soul, bringing with it a measure of comfort she desperately needed. She gathered the blankets to her chest and watched as Maddie added another log to the fire. Food and ale were delivered, and soon the women’s laughter filtered into the hall and beyond.
At his chamber door, Alaric paused and listened to the honeyed sound of Keeley’s amusement. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Then he turned and strode rapidly down the hall toward the stair, ignoring the increasing discomfort in his side.
Chapter 21
“Keeley! Keeley!”
Keeley turned her head to see Crispen bolting across the great hall toward her. She braced herself, having become well acquainted with the way Crispen “greeted” her.
He flung himself around her, nearly knocking them both to the floor, but Keeley’s preparation kept them upright.
She laughed and pried him away from her. “What are you about, Crispen?”
“Will you go outside and play with us in the snow? Will you, Keeley? Mama can’t go. Papa has forbidden her outside the doors. She’s not happy, but Maddie says ’tis good because Mama is ungainly and as round as a pumpkin and she might fall on the ice.”
Keeley hesitated, nearly laughing at the flood of words from the lad’s mouth.
“The storm is over and the sun’s out. ’Tis a beautiful day. Papa has been out training since dawn. We can play on the hill and Gannon and Cormac can come along.”