“I would have thought given your fantasy that you would have eaten that up with a spoon,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, so did I. Only I found myself backing off. I kept making excuses to extend the engagement. I was busy. This deal had to take priority. That deal needed immediate attention. Before I knew it, we had been engaged a year with a wedding scheduled another year beyond that. And moreover I was content with that.”
“Did you never love her?” Celia asked quietly.
“No. No, I didn’t. Which is why I can’t really blame her for wanting out. Our marriage would have been a disaster just as soon as I figured out the reality didn’t live up to the fantasy I’d created in my mind. I just didn’t think she’d dump me for Mitchell or that Mitchell would have been poaching on my territory.”
Celia winced. “Yeah, I can understand that.”
“I found them in bed, you know. How clichéd is that? The sad thing is, when I found them together in my bed, I just laughed, because to me it was just the next step in an already farcical relationship. I tossed them out of my apartment and washed my hands of them both.”
Celia’s expression grew thoughtful. “Hmm, so you don’t necessarily object to the fact that she found someone else. Or that she cheated on you. Just who she indulged herself with.”
Evan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck to ease some of the tension and fatigue. Just talking about it raised his ire all over again.
“Yeah, it’s stupid I know. I mean, she could have cheated on me with my business partner, or my vice president or, hell, even my driver. I wouldn’t have cared. I might have even given the man a raise. But my brother. My spoiled, overindulged brother. No, that was the one thing I couldn’t forgive.”
“Well, if their relationship is based on all you say, then I’d imagine they’ll suffer enough in the long run without you wishing them ill.”
He regarded her for a long moment. “You’re not going to lecture me about harboring childish grudges?”
She smiled, and those gorgeous green eyes cut right through him. She took his breath away until he was helpless to do anything but stare back.
“Nope. Not a word. Considering I have my own grudges and I don’t plan on forgetting them in this lifetime, I could hardly chastise you for the same.”
“Oh, do tell. You sound so…vicious. I like it,” he teased.
Her expression grew serious. Pain flickered in her eyes, and she turned away, her mouth drawn into a tight line. He was immediately sorry that the light mood had dissolved. As much as he wanted to know her secrets, he wanted to see her laughing and smiling even more.
To cover the sudden heaviness in the air, he got up to pour a glass of wine. Without a word, he offered one to her, and she took it, gratitude easing some of the tightness around her eyes.
He wanted to touch her so badly. Wanted to ease the strain and the unhappy tilt to her lips. He wanted to kiss her plump mouth until he owned her very breath.
He forced himself to return to his chair. The remains of their dinner was scattered across the coffee table. Some had fallen to the floor, but he wasn’t inclined to clean it up. They sat there sipping their wine as evening fell all around them.
Finally he could remain silent no more.
He leaned forward to set his glass on the table. For a moment he looked down at his hands and
imagined her flesh beneath his fingertips. Then he glanced back up to see her studying him with the same keen interest flashing in her eyes. She wasn’t immune. He wasn’t the only one who felt the magnetic pull between them.
“What are we going to do, Celia?” he murmured.
He saw her swallow nervously. She hadn’t misunderstood, but neither did she respond.
“I want you so damn much I hurt. I’ve hurt for weeks. Every time I look at you, I get so many knots that I can’t function. I’ve thought of all the ways I can explain to you that our business relationship has nothing to do with the desire I feel for you. But the simple truth is I don’t give a damn. I want you in my bed, and I don’t care what has to be done to make that happen.”
Her eyes went wide and frightened. He hated that. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him.
“You feel it, too. Don’t deny me that much.”
Slowly she nodded. Her fingers went to her forehead and she dug them into her hair. Still, he could see them shaking, and she swallowed again, her slim neck working with the effort.
“Please,” she whispered. “I can’t do this, Evan. It’s the one thing I can’t do. Don’t ask it of me. If you want me to admit it, fine. I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted another man.”
Savage satisfaction gripped him. Didn’t just grip him but lunged for him and wrapped a hand around his throat and his groin. His entire body reacted to that simple statement. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone else.
She turned on the couch until she faced forward and her feet met the floor. She looked in turns miserable and scared. Her eyes closed in what looked to him like self-condemnation. He swore, startling her with the force of his curses.
“Whatever you’re thinking, I don’t like it,” he said flatly. “I have no idea what the hell kind of blame you’re placing on yourself, but I can guarantee that you didn’t use your feminine wiles to seduce me into signing with your agency. I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. Want to know when that was, Celia? Go ahead, ask me.”
He stared at her in blatant challenge, waiting, wanting her to take it up.
Her eyes went wide with shock, and her face was pale and drawn. “W-when?”
“At the Sutherland’s reception. You were there with one of your clients. Copeland, if I remember correctly. The grocery-store giant.”
Her mouth fell open. “But you were still with Rencom.”
He nodded. “Precisely. I looked across the room, and you took my breath away. Want to know another of my sins, Celia? I was still engaged to Bettina. It was a week before I found her in bed with Mitchell. I didn’t care. I wanted you so much. Now tell me how big of a bastard that makes me. Try to tell me this has anything to do with your pitch.”
In the course of their conversation, he’d moved to the couch. He moved closer still, stalking her like
prey. Her scent lured him, and he inhaled the delicate, feminine smell that he’d come to associate with only her.