The second went down a little better than the first. Thank God.
She leaned back against the couch so her stomach would settle and to allow the alcohol to take control.
“I’ve spent the week shitfaced,” Kylie admitted.
“Oh honey, I wish you would have answered your damn door,” Chessy said. “You should never have to drink alone. I’m more than willing to be your drinking buddy.”
“Couldn’t,” Kylie said lamely. “I had to work some things out.”
“Like quitting your job and putting your house up for sale?” Joss demanded.
Kylie winced. “Yeah, those things.”
“What on earth happened, Kylie? And how the hell did you get those bruises?” Chessy asked.
Kylie closed her eyes, trying to hold the tears at bay. They burned her eyelids. She thought she’d cried herself out and that she didn’t have any more tears to shed. Apparently she was wrong.
Joss and Chessy descended, each taking a position on either side of her. Chessy wrapped one arm around her while Joss gently pushed Kylie’s hair from her eyes.
“Talk to us, Kylie. We’ve been so worried,” Joss said in her sweet, loving voice.
“He didn’t hurt me on purpose,” Kylie said. “He’d never do that. I know it but he doesn’t. Or at least he doesn’t now.”
“You’re not making sense, hon. Slow down and start from the beginning,” Chessy prompted.
Kylie sighed but did as her friends asked. She spilled the entire sorry tale starting from when she confided her past to Jensen to the present. She didn’t spare herself any in the telling. She told them she’d spent the week in the wine bottle crying her eyes out.
“Oh wow,” Joss breathed. “That’s a tough one for sure, sweetie. Poor Jensen. I can’t imagine how he felt when he woke up to see his hands wrapped around your neck. Dash would die if he ever did something like that.”
“That’s just it,” Kylie said. “Jensen would never do anything to hurt me. It was a dream—a nightmare. He didn’t know what he was doing. But he just shut me out. He couldn’t dump me fast enough. How the hell do you convince someone they’re wrong if they won’t stick around to talk to you about it?”
They were all silent for a moment and Chessy reached for the bottle, pouring them each another shot.
Kylie gratefully downed it, hoping for the numbness to settle in soon. A balm to the ache in her soul. At least for a little while she’d feel nothing but the warm buzz of alcohol. And to think she’d always loathed the idea of getting drunk. This week had taught her a lot about her old ideas and ways.
She handed her glass to Chessy and motioned for another.
By the time the fourth shot had been consumed, Kylie was definitely feeling the effects. So why the hell was she still crying and sniffling like an idiot?
She flopped back onto the couch again and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for it to spin.
“I should have known,” Kylie said, despair creeping into her voice once more. “I’ve never been an optimist. I was conditioned at a very young age to expect the worst. It’s certainly all I ever received. And yet I didn’t see this coming and I should have. I was so sure that Jensen was the one. I was so caught up in the joy of overcoming so much and being able to be in a relationship that I never even gave thought to the idea that we wouldn’t be together. And that was so stupid of me. Maybe later I’ll be able to blame it on being in love for the first time in my life. No wonder I never dated. Who the hell would want to go through this every time you split up with someone?”
“Amen,” Chessy muttered.
Kylie turned her head so she could see her friend, even though at the moment there were two Chessys.
“How are you and Tate?”
Chessy made a face. “Fine. Not fine. I don’t know.”
“I feel guilt for being so damn happy,” Joss said mournfully.
Kylie reached over to squeeze her hand. “Don’t. You deserve to be happy. You’ve certainly had your share of hell.”
They drank another shot. And then another for the hell of it. Somewhere in the midst of finishing the first bottle, they ended up on the floor in front of the fireplace.
“Do you know your ceiling is spinning?” Chessy asked Joss.
“That’s not the ceiling. It’s your brain,” Kylie said sagely.
“What are we going to do about Jensen?” Joss said, pushing the topic back to Kylie’s situation.
Anger surged through Kylie. It was the first time she’d felt pissed. Really pissed. She’d experienced a lot of varying emotions the last week. Mostly sadness, grief, but not true anger.
It hit her like a freight train, clouding her mind until all she saw was red.
How dare he just give up on them? He was willing to put up with her issues and give her as long as it took to get over them. To work through them. Did he expect her to back off the minute his issues overrode hers?
“I’m pissed,” Kylie said, though it sounded like it came from someone else across the room.
“You should be,” Chessy said.
“I agree,” Joss said solemnly.
“Wait. What are we pissed about?” Chessy asked in a puzzled tone.
“Jensen,” Kylie supplied.
“Oh, that’s right,” Chessy said.
“What gives him the right to just give up on us like that?” Kylie demanded.
“That’s the spirit,” Joss encouraged.
“He was all willing to tie himself to the bed for me. To give me as long as it took to work past my issues. Does he expect me to tuck tail and run the minute his issues rear their head?”
Kylie sat straight up and promptly regretted it. The room spun crazily around her and she had to close her eyes so she wouldn’t throw up.
“That’s it!” she exclaimed when she got her bearings. “Oh my God. I’m such an idiot.”
“What’s it?” Joss and Chessy chorused.
Kylie smacked herself on the forehead and then sagged backward with a groan.
“Maybe you should be careful there,” Chessy said. “You may knock yourself out.”
“Care to share your epiphany with us?” Joss prompted.
“I’m going to tie his ass to the bed,” Kylie announced. “Wait. First I’m going to make him make love to me. Without the damn rope. But after? When we’re ready to go to sleep? That’s when I’ll tie him up,” she said triumphantly.