“I love you too, darling. God, I love you. I love you so much I ache with it. It’s been killing me not knowing, hoping that you felt the same for me as I feel for you. Have felt for you for so very long. Are you certain, Joss? Are you ready for this?”
Anxiety crept into his gaze as he awaited her response. She smiled, allowing the full force of her own joy and relief to bleed into her expression.
“Oh yes,” she breathed. “Do you really love me, Dash? Truly?”
“Honey, if I loved you any more, I’d die with it. You have no idea how very long I’ve loved you, ached for you, wanted you with my every breath.”
“Then neither of us has to hurt any longer,” she said softly. “I’m yours, Dash. Completely and utterly yours. I always will be, if you’ll have me.”
“Have you?” he asked hoarsely, incredulously. “Honey, I’ll take you any damn way I can get you. But I want you to be sure that this is what you want. Not just me, but our relationship. My dominance. Your submission. Because if it’s not what you want long term, then it doesn’t have to be that way. There is no sacrifice too great to make for you.”
Her smile widened and tears glittered in her own eyes. “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you—us. I want you just the way you are. I want us just the way we are right now. I want this, darling. I want us. I need your dominance. I want it with my every breath. It’s a part of me now, the best part. Never change, Dash. Never feel that you have to change for me. Because I want you just the way you are.”
He crushed her to him, his breaths coming raggedly, blowing over her hair. He trembled against her as if overcome with emotion. And then he kissed her again and again, like he was starved for her love. As though he needed it as desperately as she needed his love.
“Make love to me,” she whispered. “For the first time, truly make love to me.”
“That you never have to ask me for,” he whispered back. “But honey, it’s always been lovemaking from my point of view. No matter what we’ve done and will do, it’s always been with love. Always. That will never change.”
He rolled with her, tumbling her to the bed even as he fumbled with his clothing, pulling and tearing at them impatiently as she lay on the bed waiting. His naked body covered hers, their legs twining, his erection cradled in the apex of her thighs.
The words made a difference. She hadn’t considered how much, but it made all the difference. Now that the words had been spoken, there was an urgency—and tenderness—that hadn’t been there before. Not that Dash had ever been anything but wonderful with her, but now there was so much more.
He kissed her passionately, taking her breath away and then returning it as their breaths mingled. He murmured his love between each kiss, and she savored the exquisite sensation of feeling that all-consuming love again. She’d never believed she could find it again, and she’d been so very wrong.
Dash was all she could hope for. She’d never want for anything else in her life. As long as she could have him. God forbid she ever lost him. She’d never survive losing the love of her life twice.
And their love was still new, shiny, still so much more to grow and learn. Just as she and Carson had done in the beginning. Their love had happened quickly but it had grown stronger with time, not weaker. She believed with everything in her heart that it would be the same for her and Dash.
“I’ve waited so long for you, Joss,” he whispered against her br**sts. He lavished attention on each nipple, coaxing them to rigid peaks. “I never imagined having this. You. Your love. It’s more than I can take in. Swear to me you’ll never leave me. That you’ll be with me forever.”
“I’ll never leave,” she vowed. “You’ll always have me and my love, Dash.”
He crushed her to him again, nudging impatiently between her thighs as he slid, warm and deep, into her welcoming body. His body arched over hers, driving deep. He raised her arms over her head, connecting their hands and holding hers down as he undulated over her again and again.
“I’ll never forget the way you look tonight,” he said in a tender voice. “The way you looked the first time you said you loved me. I’ll remember this to my dying day.”
“As long as you don’t die anytime soon,” Joss said, pain filling her at the very thought.
His face was an instant wreath of regret. “That was thoughtless of me, honey. I didn’t mean it that way. I’ll never leave you willingly. Believe that.”
She smiled. “I know, Dash. I’ll try not to be so sensitive.”
“You can be any damn way you want to be. I wouldn’t change a thing about you, my love.”
He closed his eyes as he drove deeper still. But his movements were so very gentle and loving. He filled her, withdrew and then slowly and leisurely pressed forward again. Her orgasm, not as sharp as in the past, rose, mellow and smooth, spreading to the depths of her soul. It was a different kind of release. Emotional release and not just physical.
It was . . . love. And it made all the difference in the world.
“Come with me, Joss. Be with me. Always.”
“I’m with you,” she whispered. “Don’t hold back, Dash. Take us both over.”
He lowered his forehead to hers, a gesture she loved. He lightly kissed her even as his body shuddered above her and her own release fluttered like the sweetest rain. He let go of her hands and she wrapped both arms around him, holding him close, and they fell over together, consumed by the fires of their love.
Though it was early, she had no desire to get up. To even move. She was content to remain right here, in his arms, replete. Confident in his love. The future had never looked so bright. She felt as though she could take on the world and that Dash had given her wings back so she could fly.
“Stay with me,” she whispered as his body covered hers. “Just like this. Stay inside me. Let me feel you.”
He kissed her again and settled his weight more fully on top of her. She stroked her hands up and down his back as they both drifted off into sweet sleep.
TWENTY-SEVEN
THE dream was even more vivid than before. In her sleep, Joss moaned quietly as she faced Carson and Dash standing side by side. Both men looked expectantly at her, each demanding she make her choice.
“You can have me back, baby,” Carson said in the gentle, caring voice he always used with her. She couldn’t remember a time he’d ever raised his voice to her, even in anger.
They’d had arguments. What married couple didn’t? But he’d never once lost his temper. He hadn’t trusted himself not to lash out physically, as his father had done time and time again.
“We can be together again. Just like before. You just have to choose.”
Dash stood silently to the side looking as though he’d already lost. There was resignation in his eyes, and he began to turn away, much as Carson had done in her previous dream.
“No!” she cried. “Don’t go, Dash. I want . . . you.”
Carson’s look of shock ripped her heart in two. She could scarcely believe she’d chosen Dash over her beloved husband. Then sadness gripped his features and he glanced over at Dash.
“Take care of her,” he said in a low voice. “Love her as much as I do.”
“I will. I do,” Dash said.
Then he reached for Joss and she took a hesitant step forward. Then another and another until she was in his arms. When she glanced in Carson’s direction, he was gone, fading until it was as if he had never been there.
“Carson,” she whispered brokenly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Then she glanced up at Dash, offering him reassurance. That she’d chosen him. “I love you,” she whispered. “You.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
DASH slowly came awake, the memory of the previous night fresh and vivid in his mind. He smiled, reaching for Joss, fully intending to make love to her all over again. But when he turned to her, he froze because she had a fretful look on her face and she was shaking her head, a low moan escaping her lips.
Her next words paralyzed him. Cut him to the core, slicing open his heart and draining away all the optimism he’d awakened with.