She had someone to share things with. Her life. She was getting way ahead of herself, but she couldn’t help but hope that the best was yet to come and that each day would be better than the last.
“It must have been awful for you,” she said, her lips turning downward. “I can’t imagine wanting someone for so long and thinking you could never have her.”
He stroked her cheeks, palming her jaw as his thumb brushed over her skin.
“You were well worth the wait, honey.”
She smiled. “I’m glad you think so. I hope you don’t change your mind. I’m . . . liking this—us. I won’t lie, I’m still reeling from it all, but it feels right.”
He palmed the back of her neck and pulled her down to his mouth. He kissed her hungrily, his tongue delving deep. Hot, wet and exquisitely tender.
“Never going to happen,” he said gruffly. “I won’t change my mind, Joss, and if I have anything to say about it, neither will you. You’re stuck with me now and it will take everything you’ve got—and more—to ever get rid of me. I’m a persistent son of a bitch and I don’t back down from something I want. Ever.”
She touched her forehead to his, their breaths mingling. “I’m glad you want me. It makes me feel special and it’s been so long since I felt special to someone, Dash. I’ve been so lonely. At night I lie in my bed and I ache. I hate it.”
He pulled her into his arms and stroked his hand through her hair. He dropped kisses on the top of her head while rubbing his other hand down the length of her arm.
“I’ve been lonely too, honey. But those days are over for both of us. We have each other now.”
She nodded against him and then yawned broadly, nearly cracking her jaw with the effort.
Dash leaned over, his hold loosening on her as he reached into the nightstand drawer. She looked at him in question when he pulled out a long, satin sash.
Without a word, he took her wrist and wound the material around it, securing it in a knot. He checked the tightness, inserting his finger between the tie and her skin. Seemingly satisfied, he then secured the other end to his own wrist so that she and Dash were bound together by their wrists.
“Sometimes I’ll tie you to the bed,” he murmured. “Other times, like tonight, I’ll tie you to me.”
“What if I have to get up to go to the bathroom?” she blurted.
He smiled. “Then you wake me so I can free you. But under no circumstances, unless it involves your safety, are you to touch the restraints I put in place.”
Knowing this was the first true test of her submission, she nodded silently. His eyes flared with approval and he leaned in to kiss her again.
“Get some sleep, honey. I’ll make us breakfast in the morning when you wake.”
She settled against his chest, the way their wrists were tied forcing her to face him. Unsure of what she was supposed to do with her hand or even if she could move it, she let him take her hand with his and he laid them both between them.
He’d told her to sleep, but even as sated and content as she was, sleep eluded her. She had a sleepy, lethargic heaviness to her limbs, the kind that she hadn’t felt since her husband made love to her.
She’d sworn not to bring Carson into her relationship with Dash. It wasn’t fair and it certainly wasn’t fair to compare the two men. Not fair to Dash or Carson.
Besides, one wasn’t better than the other. They were just . . . different. She found the differences fascinating. Dash was only the second man she’d ever made love with, and yet she’d gotten lucky with both experiences. Two virile, heart-stoppingly gorgeous men. She’d been loved by one, and the other? She wasn’t sure if Dash was in love with her. He was certainly infatuated. And he wanted her. He’d been very blunt about that.
Did she want him to love her?
That was the million-dollar question. Her knee-jerk response was no. She didn’t want him to love her because she didn’t want to love him. It sounded awful, but all she wanted was relief from the overwhelming loneliness she’d endured ever since Carson’s death. And who was to say that she wasn’t simply a conquest for Dash? Forbidden fruit?
It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that he’d seen her as a challenge. No, he hadn’t acted on his attraction. He’d been honorable. He hadn’t even pressed her right after Carson’s death. He’d waited. But in that time, his fixation could have grown into something that was nothing more than a need to win.
Dash wasn’t someone used to not getting his way. He was ruthless in business. Carson had remarked on it many times. He’d admitted that if it weren’t for Dash, their business wouldn’t be what it was now. Carson fully recognized that he didn’t have the heart to be cutthroat. But Dash?
She shivered, realizing that it had been there all along. His dominance. His personality. She just hadn’t seen it until now. She’d never really studied him. She’d first seen him as someone who didn’t approve of her and later as a friend. But never a dominant, to-die-for alpha male. And never would she have dreamed that she’d be lying in his arms, tied to him after making love.
His free arm was crooked above his head and he lazily ran his fingers through the strands of her hair as he stared down into her eyes. He hadn’t turned off the lamp and she could see every part of his expression.
She licked her lips, her thoughts wandering to their earlier conversation about Jensen Tucker. She knew she didn’t have the right to ask for what she wanted. Dash owed her nothing when it came to the business he’d owned with Carson.
Yes, Carson had left her a percentage of the business, but she had no say in the running. She was given a portion of the profits, but it had been clear that she was to have no authority. Some women may have been insulted by that dictate, but Joss had no desire—or the knowledge necessary—to assist in the running of her husband’s business.
It was in good hands. Dash was the best. She had absolute confidence in his ability to keep them all solvent.
“Can I ask you for something?” she asked quietly.
His brows drew together as if he picked up on her uncertainty.
“You can ask me anything, honey.”
“I’d like to meet Jensen. I’m not saying I’m objecting to him taking Carson’s place or becoming your new partner. But I’d like to meet him. I’ll understand if you say no. I don’t even have a solid reason for wanting to meet him before he takes over.”
“Of course you can meet him,” Dash said gently. “And you don’t have to justify your reasons to me. I’ll invite him over for drinks, or if you prefer a more public place, we can arrange to have drinks out.”
“Whatever you prefer is fine.” And then the realization struck that he was giving her the option of not making it public by offering her the chance to meet Jensen outside of Dash’s home. Because if they met here, it would be obvious that she and Dash were involved.
Did she care? She didn’t even know Jensen. But apparently she would come to know him and see him on a semi-regular basis now that he was partnering with Dash.
It would become public knowledge soon enough. No reason to hide her relationship with Dash. She had nothing to be ashamed of and she’d die before ever making Dash feel as though she were ashamed of him.
“We can invite him here,” she said, thinking he’d be pleased with the use of “we” instead of saying he could invite Jensen.
And in fact, he did looked pleased with her insinuation, that she’d called his home her own.
“Then I’ll call him in the morning and ask him over for drinks tomorrow evening. Will it bother you, Joss? Because I can’t pretend that I’m just setting up a tête-à-tête between two acquaintances. I can’t pretend that you aren’t mine and that you mean nothing more to me than being my best friend’s widow. If that bothers you, I need to know now because I have no intention of hiding you—us—from anyone.”
“I’m okay with it,” she said quietly. “The important people already know. I don’t care about anyone else. I won’t live my life according to what others think and say.”