Home > Letting Go (Surrender Trilogy #1)(19)

Letting Go (Surrender Trilogy #1)(19)
Author: Maya Banks

Her brow furrowed. They were fast venturing into unknown territory. Of course she had no idea of Dash’s expectations. How could she when she’d never dreamed he was the kind of man she craved? A dominant, alpha male unafraid to take what he wanted. Not ask. Take.

She didn’t want a man who asked permission. She didn’t want a man who treated her like a fragile piece of glass. Carson cherished her. No doubt about it. And she loved him for it. Loved him for always treating her so precious. But now? She wanted a man not afraid to cross the line. Because she had no idea what the boundaries were that Dash spoke of. Hers. And she wouldn’t until he crossed them.

She wanted to see just how far she could be pushed. She was seized by a decadent thrill at the thought of exploring the darker edges of desire. Sex. Power. Dominance. She wanted it all. Wanted to revel in a strong man’s authority and control. Oh how she craved it with every fiber of her being.

“We’ll start with yours,” Dash said, closely examining her as if he could read her thoughts.

Maybe he could. He and Carson had both mercilessly teased her about being an open book. They’d told her she’d never make it as a business partner, not that she had any desire to join their company. She didn’t know how Kylie stood working for the two intensely driven men! They’d both told her on more than one occasion that one only had to look at her to have a direct window to her soul.

It could be construed as criticism, but both men had made their statements with great affection. As though it was a compliment instead of a fault.

“But I don’t know my boundaries,” she said in frustration. “How could I? Dash, you know this is new for me. That my only experience comes from my fantasies.”

“I know, honey, but we have to establish what you would do if I do cross a boundary of yours. I understand you won’t know until it happens. What I want is to implement safeguards for that eventuality. Because I will push you, Joss. I know you think I’m being gentle with you and maybe I am. For now. But once you’re under my control, I’ll push your limits.”

She nodded her understanding.

“Now, many people in these kinds of relationships use safe words. I’m not a fan of them myself, but I understand the necessity of them. Especially for a woman being introduced to this world for the first time. After a while you won’t need a safe word because it’s my job to find out your boundaries and push you to the very edge without crossing that line. Does that make sense?”

“Chessy told me it was important to communicate with the man I . . . experimented . . . with that I was new to the scene and to make it clear I reserved the right to pull the plug at any time.”

“Chessy is a very smart woman. She’s knowledgeable about the lifestyle,” Dash said.

“She should be,” Joss muttered. “She and Tate . . . Well, you know since you both have memberships at The House.”

Dash smiled. “I can see the question in your eyes. I could swear I also see a hint of jealousy. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part. You want to know if I’ve ever seen Chessy and Tate, and specifically Chessy . . . naked. Am I right?”

“I’m more interested in whether or not you’ve ever been with her,” Joss said quietly.

Dash’s expression softened. “Did Chessy tell you Tate shared her with other men?”

Joss’s eyes widened. “Does he?”

Dash chuckled. “Guess you aren’t as knowledgeable as perhaps I thought.”

“That’s not an answer!”

“Does the idea of me being with Chessy bother you?” he asked curiously.

Joss flushed. “Yes. No! Yes, damn it, it does. Sorry. I know I can’t judge your past. But yeah, it bothers me a lot. I mean I know you’ve had other women. I would certainly have never expected you to wait for me forever. How could you have known Carson would die and leave that opportunity for you? But the idea of you being with my friend . . . Yes, it bothers me. I won’t lie.”

Dash slid his hand over hers, squeezing warmly. “Sorry, honey. I was teasing you and I shouldn’t have. To answer your multitude of questions, yes, Tate does, upon occasion, share Chessy with other men. No, I’ve never participated. Yes, I’ve seen her naked, though I’ve tried to be careful and avoid The House when I know they’re going to be there.”

Joss latched onto the part about Tate sharing Chessy with other men. It boggled her mind because Tate was forbiddingly possessive of Chessy. When they were together, Tate was always in touching distance. When Joss had been married, it hadn’t bothered her. She hadn’t been envious. She’d been thrilled that her friend was married to a man who so obviously adored her. Jealous of the kind of relationship they had? Yes, a tiny part of her had been very envious.

After Carson had died, it had been painful to watch Tate with Chessy because it reminded her of all she’d had and lost. That close connection to another man. The knowledge that he loved her absolutely and without measure.

“He shares her?” Joss asked again, incredulity seeping into her voice.

Dash gave her a gentle smile. “It’s who and what they are, honey. It’s a kink they both enjoy. Tate likes to watch while another man dominates his wife—under his direction. So technically the Dominant acting out a scene with Chessy is in fact submissive because he takes orders from Tate.”

Joss shivered at the mental image and wondered what that was like. Could she have sex with a man while Dash watched and directed? Her ni**les tightened and came to erect points. Her respirations sped up as pictures flashed through her mind. It was too much to take in. Yes, she’d known of Chessy and Tate’s relationship. She knew Chessy gave one hundred percent of her submission to Tate, in and out of the bedroom as she’d discovered recently.

What was it Chessy had said? That she was Tate’s to do with as he chose. She hadn’t considered to what extent that held true, but wow. As shocking as it was, it was also extremely . . . arousing.

“Is that something that turns you on?” he asked silkily.

She caught his gaze and saw his eyes glittering and she wondered if it turned him on. Would he want to do that with her? Give her to another man while he stood on the sidelines? She hadn’t imagined Dash to be the sort who would share anything, especially a woman he was in a relationship with.

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “In theory it sounds . . . hot. But the reality? I’m not sure how I’d feel about that. It’s definitely not something I’d want to do right away. I would think that takes a certain level of comfort. And trust.”

Dash nodded. “Very true. The man and the woman have to be in complete accord. Their relationship has to be cemented before introducing elements like that. For the woman, she has to have complete trust in her Dominant in order to allow him to give her to another man. That kind of trust is priceless.”

“And for the man?” Joss asked, her curiosity only growing. She felt horribly naïve and ignorant of such things. But now that she’d begun her journey into that very world, she was starved for knowledge. It all fascinated her. “What does he get out of it? Wouldn’t he have to have absolute faith in the woman he gives to another man?”

Dash nodded again. “Absolutely. The man has to trust that he is able to provide everything his woman needs, and that her experience with another man is not only pleasurable for both himself and her, but he also has to trust that when it’s all said and done, he is the one she goes home with, is committed to, and that the experience doesn’t give her a taste of the forbidden that she indulges in when he’s not a participant.”

“Permission to cheat,” Joss murmured. “It blows my mind.”

“No, not cheating,” Dash corrected. “Not at all. Cheating is emotional betrayal. When consent is given by both parties, there is no betrayal. It’s why a relationship has to be absolutely solid before ever venturing into that territory. There can be no doubts, no misgivings, and trust has to be well established between the couple. Otherwise it’s a doomed exercise.”

Joss cocked her head to the side. “Does it not work out sometimes? I mean do you know of situations where jealousy became involved? Or the woman ends up cheating or is no longer satisfied with what her Dominant is giving her?”

   
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