“Maybe I’m asking you to trust me. Maybe I’m saying that you and I have shared a lot more than a desire to help our respective teammates. Maybe I’m asking you where the hell I stand with you.”
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the tight edge of panic swelling in her chest.
“Do not bring sex into this, Eli. Sex has nothing to do with trust. Sex is just sex. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that, sugar. Well, here’s the deal. I don’t make it a habit of making love to a woman who doesn’t trust me. So maybe you need to think about that the next time you want me to crawl inside you.”
Making love. She had the sudden urge to clap her hands over her ears and childishly chant no, no, no. It didn’t matter that she’d pondered the differences the night before, that she had allowed herself the fantasy of being made love to by this man as opposed to a quick f**k and a mediocre orgasm.
She couldn’t have it both ways. She couldn’t expect him to trust her, to, as he said, put his life and the lives of his team in her hands, when she couldn’t offer him the same level of trust in return.
Did she trust him? She’d flatly denied the idea even when it had slipped out of her mouth. She didn’t despise him. She didn’t think he was a dishonorable man. Hell, who was she to judge someone’s honor when she was willing to sacrifice her very soul to save her brother? Honor was bullshit. Idealistic bullshit fed to new military recruits. Honor didn’t keep your ass safe. It didn’t provide you with your next meal. It sure as hell didn’t keep you from being knifed in the back by someone because you were stupid enough to trust them. Honor was for the weak.
And yet she felt safe with him. She didn’t believe, deep down, that he had any intention of hurting her. Was that trust? She didn’t know. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
She trusted Damiano. She trusted Mad Dog and Jonah. She trusted herself. She didn’t particularly see a need to widen that circle.
Silence fell between them, and Eli didn’t make another attempt to touch her or alleviate the tension in the air. The drove steadily onward, and Tyana focused her attention on the landscape.
When darkness fell, they continued driving for a few hours before Eli turned off the road and onto an even smaller path leading into a densely wooded area.
Only the soft light from the dashboard illuminated the interior, but she could feel him watching her as they pulled to a stop.
“Only one of us should sleep at a time. The other needs to keep watch. We can camp out in the truck. The seats recline. Won’t be the most comfortable rest we’ve had, but it beats the ground.”
She nodded, then realizing he couldn’t see her, she muttered her assent.
“I’ll take the first watch,” she added. She wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, and she could take the longer shift, since she could always sleep while Eli drove the next day.
He didn’t argue. He reached into the backseat and dragged out a heavier jacket and a blanket then shoved them toward her.
“It gets chilly out here at night.”
She opened the door and stepped to the back where the weapons were secured. She already wore her knives on her, but she pulled out her rifle and her pistol and secured them before walking around to collect the coat and blanket from the front seat.
Eli reached across the seat and grabbed her wrist as she started to back away.
“If you hear anything, you wake me up.”
“I can handle it,” she said shortly. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you later.”
Chapter Twenty
Tyana sat, cloaked in darkness, fifty yards from where Eli had parked the SUV. She pulled the blanket further around her shoulders but was careful to keep her rifle in reach at all times.
There was a stillness to the air that unnerved her. No sound except the occasional breeze through the pines disturbed the night. No moon shone. The sky was black, the stars blanketed by heavy cloud cover.
For the first hour she kept her mind purposely blank, not wanting the distraction of letting her thoughts wander. The second hour she wondered how D was doing and if he was worried. Of course he was worried. But she hoped he kept his faith in her abilities.
The third hour she allowed herself to think about Jonah and just how pissed he was at her. Then she wondered if Jonah had taken off to overtake her, and had Mad Dog stayed behind with Damiano? Mad Dog would have wanted to go.
That was a kink in her plan she hadn’t considered.
If both Jonah and Mad Dog pursued her, then that left D alone on the island with only the Falcon security team to help him.
She put her face in her hands and rubbed tiredly over her eyes.
Impulsive. Impetuous.
They were words that Jonah would hurl at her. He would accuse her of compromising Falcon for her own means, of putting her own priorities ahead of the team. And he’d be right on all counts.
But she wouldn’t apologize. Not for putting D first. He came before her. Before Falcon.
At six hours she still stared broodingly into the dark, willing the dawn to come so she would no longer be alone.
A warm mist enveloped her, and she relaxed, the tension in her body dissipating as Eli wrapped himself around her, surrounding her in a light fog. He touched every part of her skin, light and seeking. A gentle sensation trailed down her cheek like the soft stroke of a painter’s brush. Slowly, he came to form in front of her, his hands on her face.
“You should have woken me before now,” he chided.
“I can sleep while you drive. You needed the rest more.”
He tugged the blanket a little tighter around her and tucked the corners beneath her chin.
“Why don’t you go back and get some sleep now?”
“I’m not tired yet,” she murmured. That wasn’t true. She was plenty tired, but she knew her brain wouldn’t shut down enough for her to sleep.
“Then keep me company for a while,” he said as he crawled up beside her.
He put an arm around her shoulders and drew her close into the shelter of his body. She relaxed and laid her head against his chest.
“Tell me about you,” she said in a near whisper. “I only know what little I could dig up when I was looking for you and back when Falcon did background before accepting the guide job into Adharji.”
“Not much to tell,” he said. “No family. That was a requirement back when CHR was a spin-off to Special Forces. No ties. No life to speak of.”
She frowned. “How did you get from being a specialized unit to leaving the military and going out on your own?”
Eli sighed. “Same reason most military teams get axed. Bureaucratic bullshit, cutbacks, changes in administration. Everyone comes in with their own agenda.”
Tyana nodded. All reasons she loved being a part of Falcon. They didn’t answer to anyone but themselves.
“Our team was formed with a take-no-prisoners attitude. We were ruthless, and we did what we had to do in order to get the job done. We had a one hundred percent hostage recovery rate. Never lost a civilian. Bad guys? Didn’t fare so well, and we didn’t give a f**k.
“Then came changes in administration. They started making noises about dismantling us. We weren’t exactly politically correct. Admin didn’t want it to get out that the U.S. supported a military team that didn’t adhere to political niceties.
“And then we had an assignment into a f**k hole in the Middle East. Several Americans were being held hostage by some f**k show who wanted the U.S. to surrender to His Royal Highness the King of Fuck-u-ban.”
He turned his head toward Tyana. “You see the bright individuals we were working with here. Obviously with those kinds of demands there was going to be no negotiating, no reasoning with these brain children.
“So we went in to recover the hostages. Things were going well until one of the women, who’d evidently decided during her captivity that she sympathized with our poor misguided terrorists, decided to take a bullet for one of her captors.
“She stepped right in front of him. Took a round to the chest. The pisser was, she didn’t even save the ass**le. The bullet passed through her heart and took the guy behind her out anyway.
“We recovered the hostages and got the hell out. It was our first civilian casualty, and the guys in Washington jumped at the chance to wag a finger in our faces and disband us. There was no way I was going to let go of something I believe so strongly in.
“Ian, Braden, Gabe and I resigned and struck out on our own. The Army was more than willing to utilize our services as long as they didn’t carry the ultimate responsibility. If a mission went to shit, they could throw their hands up and deny having any knowledge of a gun-for-hire hostage recovery group.”
“Real nice,” Tyana said dryly.
“It gets better,” he said. “After what happened in Adharji, it was like we ceased to exist. We’d call needing intel, they’d pretend they didn’t know who the f**k we were. All the contacts outside the military, mostly ex-military guys with ties to the government, wouldn’t give us the time of day. I’m not convinced that the government and your Esteban weren’t in it together.”
She scowled. “He’s not my Esteban.”
He continued on, ignoring her protest. “Esteban might have been the brainchild behind the chemical that turned man into shifter, but what would he want with warriors? He planning to go to war? A pharmaceutical company?
“No, I’m thinking for him it was all about money. He’d create the freak of nature and let the U.S. government buy the product. Only it didn’t turn out as well as Esteban hoped and no way Uncle Sam would pay a dime until Esteban could produce a working prototype. In this case, me. He wouldn’t want Ian and Braden around as shining examples of his failure.”
“That makes sense,” she murmured. “It still doesn’t explain why he has no interest in Gabe, in either killing him or having him brought in alive. When Esteban approached Falcon with the job, he was very fixated on you. Less so on Ian and Braden, but then he wanted them dead. But there was never a mention of Gabe then or later when he approached me outside of Falcon.”
“No, it doesn’t make sense unless he simply doesn’t know about Gabe.”
“So you’re men without a country,” she said, foregoing the subject of Gabe for the moment.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“I guess that’s something we have in common,” she said softly.
“So what about you?” he asked as he drew her a little closer to him. “How did you join up with Falcon?”
She stiffened and realized too late that by asking Eli for personal details she would be expected to reciprocate. Her skin itched just thinking about revealing parts of herself that she hadn’t shared with anyone.
“Shouldn’t we be going?” she asked as she checked the time. By the time they got back to the truck and on the road, it would be getting light.
Eli let out a small breath. “Yeah, I guess we should.”
He stood and pulled Tyana up beside him. They started for the truck, and when they arrived, Eli opened the door to the backseat and handed her a small satellite transmitter.
“Think you can buzz your guy and have him find out what he can on Esteban’s whereabouts?”
She nodded and took the equipment before climbing into the passenger seat. As Eli cautiously drove back out to the main road, she fitted the earpiece and entered a series of commands.
There was a long period, and the connection crackled and hummed in her ear. She adjusted the thin wire leading from her ear to her mouth. “Tits, if you’re there, I could really use you right now.”
She looked over at Eli in the darkness. “Is there a secure frequency I can upload to him?”
He reached over to the glove compartment and dug around, his arm pressed against her leg while he kept the other hand on the wheel. He dragged out a pen and a pad of paper, placed the pad on her knee and quickly jotted down a series of numbers.
“Tyana, long time no hear. You okay?”
“I’m fine, Tits. Look, I need you to switch to a secure frequency. I don’t have my equipment on me.”
“Yeah, I noticed it wasn’t you flashing at me. Fire when ready.”
She punched in the numbers. “I’m switching over. Holler when you’re there.”
She entered the numbers on the small keyboard and went through the complicated series of gateways. The static and interference in her earpiece died as crisp silence replaced it. A few seconds later, Tits’ voice boomed over the connection.
“Now, what is it you need? I hope you’re not wanting me to come pull your ass out of some shithole somewhere.”
“You wish. I need intel on Esteban Morales. I need to know where he is, what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with. Once you figure that out, I need a safe house as close to him as you can manage.”
“I don’t like the sound of this, Ty.”
“You don’t have to like it. Just do it. It’s important, Tits. You know I wouldn’t ask otherwise.”
He grunted. “Yeah, I know.”
“E me the info when you get it. I should have a decent enough signal to be able to read it by the time you collect it. I’d rather not do this live. Make sure it’s encrypted.”
Tits snorted. “I don’t tell you how to do your job, baby girl.”
“Yeah, yeah, do this for me and I’ll give you another kiss.”
“I want tongue this time.”
“You got it last time, ass**le.”
He chuckled then broke the connection.
She pulled the receiver from her ear and pushed the unit off her lap and into the space between her and Eli.